


Fraternizing

by MiladyDeWinter (Techno_Queen)



Series: Frederick Vincent Claudius Bill the Fourth [2]
Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Foxes, Frederick Vincent Claudius Bill the Fourth, Gen, also this is now a series wtf, and ten percent more of drama-queen!Pitch, and thirty percent more of Freddy being cute, crackish, now with twenty percent less plot, sequel to "Eyebrows", this is just for the lolz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 11:59:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15948911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Techno_Queen/pseuds/MiladyDeWinter
Summary: “You’re back.”“That I am,” Jack said brightly, leaning against his staff as he grinned at Pitch. The Nightmare King seemed less than pleased to see him, but that was to be expected.“And I suppose there is little I can do to make you leave?”“Yep,” Jack confirmed, popping the ‘p’.Pitch slumped wearily in his throne and began morosely cuddling Frederick Vincent Claudius Bill the Fourth, who seemed to be remarkably appreciative of the attention. There were a few moments of silence, punctuated by  Frederick Vincent Claudius Bill the Fourth’s contented snuffling sounds.“I’d ask why you’re here,” Pitch said suddenly, determinedly not looking up from where he was scratching behind the fox’s ears, “but I have a feeling the answer would only irritate me.”“Probably.”“Certainly,rather. So, of course, you’ll excuse me if I refuse to indulge in questioning your  simpleminded inanities.”“Ooooh, was that supposed to be a burn?”





	Fraternizing

“You’re back.”

“That I am,” Jack said brightly, leaning against his staff as he grinned at Pitch. The Nightmare King seemed less than pleased to see him, but that was to be expected.

“And I suppose there is little I can do to make you leave?”

“Yep,” Jack confirmed, popping the ‘p’.

Pitch slumped wearily in his throne and began morosely cuddling Frederick Vincent Claudius Bill the Fourth, who seemed to be remarkably appreciative of the attention. There were a few moments of silence, punctuated by Frederick Vincent Claudius Bill the Fourth’s contented snuffling sounds.

“I’d ask why you’re here,” Pitch said suddenly, determinedly not looking up from where he was scratching behind the fox’s ears, “but I have a feeling that the answer would only irritate me.” 

“Probably.”

“ _Certainly,_ rather. So, of course, you’ll excuse me if I refuse to indulge in questioning your simpleminded inanities.”

“Ooooh, was that supposed to be a burn?”

Pitch gritted his teeth and began aggressively petting Frederick Vincent Claudius Bill the Fourth, who responded with more happy noises. Maybe if he simply ignored Jack, the winter spirit would leave out of sheer boredom.

Of course, as was his luck, this was not the case. Jack stayed quiet for all of seven seconds before asking. “So, how’ve you and Freddy been doin—”

“No.”

“….I’m sorry?”

Pitch (very considerately, he thought) refrained from strangling the winter spirit. “His name,” he snarled, “is not _Freddy._ ”

He spat the word ‘Freddy’ like he despised it with every fiber of his being, like its very existence was a direct insult to him on a very deep, very personal level. It was a word filled with hatred and darkness and anger, vibrating with contemptuous fury. It had years of stifling rage behind it, decades of bubbling, fizzling resentment the like of which only the Boogeyman could muster. Once upon a time, mortals and spirits alike had cowered before such hate-filled words from the King of Nightmares himself, and had been all too happy to run away before he ripped them to shreds.

Jack Frost, of course, was completely unimpressed.

“So, what should I call him then? Because if you think I’m going to bother with saying a name like Frederick Theodore—”

“ _Frederick Vincent Claudius Bill the Fourth!_ ” Pitch suddenly shrieked wrathfully. The shadows writhed around him like angry snakes as his nightmares went running for cover, and part of a wall collapsed under the force of his yell. Frederick Vincent Claudius Bill the Fourth whimpered a little in fear, and immediately Pitch began to snuggle him calmingly while directing a furious glare at an as-yet indifferent Jack Frost.

Said winter spirit merely raised an eyebrow in a terrifyingly good impression of Toothiana, and irritatingly refused to be frightened even a little. “Yeah, no way I’m bothering with a name like that, Pitchy.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

“I am the _King of Nightmares,_ you insufferable brat—”

“And I’m a Guardian with ten times as much power as you have right now. Sorry, Pitch-o, you’re out of luck.”

“Yes, well, with the way you’re going right now, I doubt you’ll remain a guardian for much longer. Those four will not look kindly on you fraternizing with the enemy.”

Jack shrugged. “I’m not fraternizing, I’m just talking to you.”

“Talking is equivalent to fraternizing.”

“No it isn’t.”

“Yes it is. We’re enduring each other’s presence without attempting to kill each other. That’s fraternizing, at least in the eyes of your new friends. And I’ll tell you something else,” said Pitch empathetically, suddenly thinking of something, “it’s not like they’re going to blame _you_ when they find out. Oh no, it’ll be all my fault for ‘corrupting’ you into talking to me. As if you weren’t corrupted enough on your own.”

“Thank you,” chirped Jack.

Pitch rolled his eyes and continued. “And once they get it into their heads that this is all my fault, which it very much _isn’t,_ then they’ll proceed to kill me. Multiple times. In various very creative, very painful ways. Which I definitely would not be looking forward to.”

“So?”

Pitch gaped. “So? _So?_ So they'll murder me for something you did, you deranged, feather-brained snowball.”

Jack merely shrugged. “Then we just make sure they don’t find out. Simple.” 

Pitch’s brain briefly bluescreened, and it was only when Frederick Vincent Claudius Bill the Fourth bit his hand that he realized he was squeezing the poor fox far too tightly. He forced himself to loosen his grip on the indignant creature, and scratched it underneath the chin as an apology. Judging by the contented noises the fox was making, the apology was gladly accepted.

Pitch cleared his throat in an attempt to regain his composure. “So...you want to deliberately hide from your goody-two-shoes friends—”

“—Nobody says ‘goody-two-shoes’ anymore—”

“—Shut _up._ You’re going to deliberately hide from them the fact that you’re fraternizing—”

“—Having innocent conversation—“

“— _Fraternizing_ with their—and by extension your—worst enemy.”

“Yep.”

“...Sometimes I fear for your sanity.”

“Aw, you _do_ care.”

“Shut up, brat.”

“Whatever. Hey, can I pet Freddy now?”

“His name is Frederick Vincent Claudius Bill the Fourth, and no.”

“Aw, Blacko, c’mon!”

“Don’t call me that, and _no_!”

~=~

(Jack did eventually get to pet Frederick Vincent Claudius Bill the Fourth. Pitch afterwards retreated into one of the darkest corners of his lair in order to nurse a pounding headache, and swore never to speak with Jack again. Of course, the two proceeded to have a very similar interaction the very next week. And the week after that, and the week after that, and the week after _that..._ )

**Author's Note:**

> Just some more "Frederick Vincent Claudius Bill the Fourth" silliness, because I can't get rid of this plot-bunny. I guess this is a sequel to "Eyebrows." Maybe.
> 
> Hope you like?


End file.
